Putting this together and I’m filled with so much joy and gratitude. To think that I wrote a post here at the beginning of the year about doing things at your pace and the year turned out to reveal that there’s not so much we can do at our pace except God wills.

I recall being hard on myself towards the end of last year because I wasn’t in good health and I couldn’t meet up with some of the jobs I had to do but today I’m singing a different song. I’ve come to realize that to be alive is indeed a gift and to be in good health is a plus to that gift. 

As 2020 ends, all I can feel is gratitude! And if I had to describe this year, it would be “An eye opener on several levels.” In that light, I would like to share the few things I learnt this year with you.

  1. Make the most of every moment. It’s no news that 2020 came with different surprises for all of us. This year I learnt to just live in the moment, create memories and just enjoy every bit of living. You don’t have to wait until you’re at a certain place or destination, just find beauty in the moment and appreciate it.
  2. No one owes you anything. Yes! Not your father, not your mother, nor your siblings or friends. You owe it to yourself to grow, be happy, and just generally improve on yourself.
  3. The relationships you keep matter. A good number of jobs that came to me this year were from referrals and my network. I’m not going to act as though I’m so good at keeping or building relationships but I’ve come to realize that meaningful relationships can bring you good fortune. 
  4. Gratitude is a lifestyle. When you’re grateful, it just opens door for greater opportunities.
  5. Eating healthy goes a long way in contributing to a healthy lifestyle. I made it a decision to start eating healthy in 2019 and so far, the result has been amazing.
  6. If you don’t ask, chances are 90% you won’t get. The universe is powerful and I’ve learnt that when you ask, you either get a ‘Yes’ or a ‘No’. Whichever way, you’re not going to die so I’ve learnt to just ask away and be optimistic and so far, it’s been great.
  7. Accountability. When you become more accountable for your actions, it helps you align with your purpose. The earlier you accept your flaws and work on them, the better. 
  8. Sow seeds of kindness wherever you go. The world is already a tough place. A lot of people go through things they can’t speak of, your kindness will go a long way in putting smiles on their faces.
  9. Do not attach your happiness to a person, place or material things. You’re the only one that can truly make yourself happy, just search within.
  10. The words you say go yourself are powerful. I’ve seen the results of doing this so speak positive words and watch them manifest. 
  11. Forgive. Life is short! I don’t know who measured it but it is. As we go through life, there are people who will offend us knowingly and unknowingly. While we may decide to keep grudges or cut them off, it is important we forgive them and just move on. I mean, you don’t have to go back to being friends with them or speaking to them but just be sure that you have forgiven them. I’ve come to realize that forgiveness brings peace. 
  12. Money is important, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Regardless of how bad 2020 was, a lot people made money and did so many beautiful things. I’ve tasted and seen that money is important. I know there’s a lot of backend work to be done but please, make your own money.
  13. Be intentional. With your career, your business, your relationships, your love life and everything generally. I’ve learnt that the power to determine the outcome of certain things lies within us.
  14. Stop waiting for a perfect time to start. There’s never a perfect time, just start where you are and with what you have. This year had taught me that we really don’t have time to waste and there’s no such thing as perfect time. 
  15. Save. I’ve always known the importance of saving and all but this year came with more reasons on why we should save. So if you’re reading this, as you’re making that money, please remember to save some!
  16. Not everyone will be happy for your success/achievements and that’s okay. I’ve learnt to journal my successes rather than publicizing them because not everyone really cares.
  17. Patience! Patience!! Patience!!! Everyone has their timing and moves at their own pace so I’ve learnt to be more patient with people and myself.
  18. Never underestimate the power of people. One phone call, one person, one opportunity or one big thing could change your life so don’t look down on anyone.
  19. Do you! People will talk regardless so just be yourself. I’ve learnt this the hard way but it was worth it.
  20. God exists! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, so find God, trust him and hold on to him. 

That’s it, I can’t say these are the only lessons I learnt but I just thought to share these 20 with you. It been a beautiful year regardless of the hurdles here and there. This year, I lost friends who are still alive but I’ve been truly blessed. I’m grateful for all the beautiful memories that I cannot post and excited about the coming year because I know it’s definitely going to be better.

I’d love to learn from you too, so feel free to share all the lessons you learnt in 2020 with me in the comment box. 

Have the Happiest New Year. 

I’ll see you in my 2021 post,


Hey Loves!

It’s been a while I said “welcome back to Rayhaxo.com” Well, welcome back! I hope you’re doing good? I’ve been having off & on sick days so I decided to take a break but I’m a lot better now and I’m glad to be continuing the style episodes from where we stopped. In this Episode; TobiFusika who is a Faith, Fashion & Lifestyle blogger will be sharing her style journey with us. She shared some insightful tips and I’m not about to spill it out to you before you read through so I’ll just let you find out yourself. I’ll see you at the end!

Hi everyone, my name is Oluwatobi Ogunfusika (You can call me TobiFusika) and I am a Faith, Fashion and Lifestyle blogger at thetobifusika.com. I also have a podcast (anchor.fm/tobifusika) and mentor young girls (www.instagram.com/ysbeautiful) during my free time.

Style to me is staying true to yourself and not putting yourself in a box. I’m a creative so I dress like one. I love being adventurous with my style. I can go from rugged to minimalist to sporty to glamorous to anakraish( a new word- google it). I don’t like to be confined. I love experimenting with as many looks as my body type,size and budget would allow me.

How I found my style: I discovered that since I was little that I didn’t like looking like everyone else. I didn’t like wearing what everyone else was wearing. I didn’t like it in a condescending way I.e. wanting to be the only fab one in the room. I wished(and still wish) everyone would discover their style and what works for them. I wished that they would wear what fit them instead of wearing what everyone else was wearing because it was trendy or the most expensive thing on the block or because of the designer.

I found mine by designing my outfits from a young age. Nigerian tailors were popular for handing catalogue over to anyone who wanted to make an outfit. Funny thing was that I would take a plain paper from the house and draw what I wanted. My mum always smiled and she never put me down but encouraged me. Most of the time, the tailors got my designs right. I started designing really early and this made me confident in my style.

Fun fact:- I love Ankara DIYs. You can check out my 100 days of Ankara challenge on my Instagram Story Highlights (Link:www.instagram.com/tobifusika)

How I stay true to my style:

Ensure that I’m not jumping on trends- Why do you want to get that fashion item? Really why?. I know its in vogue but you don’t have to get it. Do you have items in your wardrobe that can complement it? Do you have to buy more fashion items to complement it before you can wear it? Do you have a plan to wear it or an event to wear it too? I ask myself these questions before buying anything.

My current size(kg) and body type: My current weight and body size determine what I wear in certain times. When I was less than 55kg, I could get away with wearing short dresses but now that I’ve added some weight, I’m readjusting my entire style.

If your body type changes, your style has to change else you’ll be trying to force the old on the new and it simply won’t work.

Fashion isn’t imagination: Despite what they have told you about feeling good and then looking good, if it doesn’t fit you, it doesn’t fit you. Fashion isn’t what you imagine but what is real. Please look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth before you step out. Ask a friend about how you look before stepping out. Get real friends that have an eye for fashion please.

My personality(My growth process):  As I grow and mature, I’m realizing that my style changes. I have realized that how I look affects how I’m perceived so I put the work into it. Before I was a fashionista that just didn’t care sometimes like abeg. Lately, I’m putting more effort into how I look every time because who knows who you might meet on the way out. Trust me, it affects how you are perceived overtime.

Tips for finding your personal style 

Who are you: You personality is everything when it comes to figuring out your personal style. There are different style personalities: daring, bold, conservative, showstopping, trendy, glamorous,minimalist, modest etc. Deciding this would help you discover who to follow as regards fashion and who to constantly watch out for. Don’t try copying the style of someone whose style personalty is completely different from yours. You’ll find yourself constantly trying to fit in and you’ll be uncomfortable

Body type: There are different body types for women and it should be considered first before choosing any fashion item. We have the triangle or pear shape, apple or inverted triangle shape, hourglass shape, rectangle shape, top hourglass shape. Dress based on your body type. Look for style tricks that would hide your flaws(I wear heels to hide the fact that I’m petite) and use fashion tricks to also improve your best parts and make them looks more fabulous(It could be your face, legs, waist etc).

Your size: I am a petite girl so I can’t wear some things.That’s okay because every body type has its fashion disadvantage. Heels work for me every single day and I wear them effortlessly. High waist outfits are also a plus because they make me look taller. What body type do you have? Try to discover fashion icons, celebrities that have same and try to see if you can try out their looks. Some don’t have great designers so be careful lol.

Budget- Your budget is very important in discovering your style. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. I don’t support breaking the bank to look great. You can look good effortlessly https://thetobifusika.com/style-tiphow-to-look-good-effortlessly-_/

One of my favorite bloggers (www.instagram.com/siainstyle) is a minimalist. She wears only thrifted clothes and she has a store where she also sells them. I’ve seen her put an entire look together that costs N500. So each man to his own and yes, you can make it work.

Okay guys, that’s the end of Tobi’s Story. Wow! That was a very interesting read guys. I’ve known Tobi for 11 years now, we talk almost everyday and I can tell you that I learnt new things from reading this.

The Take Home: Always listen when your friends or people you know generally are called to speak about a topic. You never know what they’re going to spill. Don’t assume that you know them so there’s a possibility that you know what they’re going to say. A wise man once said “Assumptions are always wrong!”

If you read up to this point, thank you for stopping by. I hope that you have learnt a thing or two from this episode.
I’ll see you in the next episode,


“2020 is my year, I must make it! This year we’re breaking boundaries, it’s a win win or nothing, they’re not even ready, vision 2020 yen yen yen” these were the words that landed your woman crush on the sick bed in the first week of January.

Hey there!
I know at this point you’re feeling indifferent about that write up en-quote up there and that’s totally fine because I’m sure we all had/still have one or two of these words on our lips. Just before I spill it all out, I’d like to say Happy new year and welcome back to my blog. If it’s your first time here, I’m totally glad to have you here and I do hope you stick around.

2019 was a really amazing year for me; there were a few bad days but it did end on a good note and so I walked into 2020 with the energy of “everything must work” I even created a hashtag #Thegoalyear (if you follow my social media here you must have seen it) little did I know that I’d soon be laying helpless. On Friday, I returned from the market in high spirit. I had gone to buy fabrics hoping to come back and get back to work because baby girl must not disappoint her clients. A few hours later, my body started to speak a different language, it was no longer responding to me but little ol me was still trying to redirect it, I was trying to be strong but guess what?…. I crashed (I’m not even talking sleep) I was helpless! At that point, I was forced to take the long needed rest I deserved. I ended up disappointing the people I didn’t want to, I ended up not achieving the goals I had set for that week. I realized all these happened because I had put so much pressure on achieving my goals and perfecting new beginnings without even giving myself breaks but guess what? I’ve come to realize that the people who said “all work and not play makes jack a dull boy” were not foolish after all. I’ve learnt to forgive myself and take necessary precautions. I’ve come to understand that you have to find a routine that works for you and stick to it.

I’m not in your head but you’re probably thinking “Who asked her all this story” (Lol!). Well, I just thought to share this because I feel there’s someone out there struggling to achieve those goals, I know you’re pinching yourself so hard to win, you’re putting in so much effort and that’s fine but trust me when I say it’s okay to slow down, it’s totally okay! You don’t have to do everything in the first days of the year. My best girl says “No Pressure 2020” and I’m definitely working with that. At this point, I’m beginning to sound like a motivational speaker and you’re bored already. But just before I leave here’s a few things to keep you on track;

  • Move at your pace; It’s better done right than fast.
  • Pay attention to yourself; sometimes we get too caught up in the struggle and we forget to listen to what our mind is telling us.
  • Rest, rest and rest again!
  • Give yourself a pep talk from time to time.
  • Meditate! I recently started doing this and it’s been helpful (calm & Headspace are great apps to try for meditation).
  • Learn to forgive yourself, it’s okay if you didn’t get it today. Tomorrow is another opportunity to try again.
  • Do a regular check up, sometimes these things pile up and hit us at once.
  • Always speak to someone, it’d help you feel better about whatever it is you’re going through.

And lastly guys, it’s still #TheGoalYear! Be intentional, make a plan, be kind to yourself.

I’d love to know what experiences you’ve had since the new year, I’ll be in the comment box waiting.

Until my next post,



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